Go After What You Love in Life: The Hold-up, Sit-down, and Decide Model

by | Oct 23, 2017 | Taking Action

I once heard it said that each day we must choose to get up, get dressed, and show up no matter how we feel. So how do you feel today? Has your world been rocked by an unanticipated shock-wave? If so, here’s a little something to help you regain your equilibrium. I like to call it the hold-up, sit-down, and decide model.

Let me provide an example of what I mean here. Let’s say you are driving your morning commute, minding your own business, when a fellow driver decides to change lanes suddenly and pulls right in front of you. The driver then proceeds to hit their brakes. Now if you’re anything like me (I’m sure you’re much more evolved) your first response may be to want to (although you would never really do so) jump out of the car and hold a brief counseling session with the driver regarding highway etiquette.

However, the hold-up, sit-down, and decide model would advocate a slightly different course of action. When I’m in my “happy place” the scenario goes a little more like this:

  1. Driver cuts me off
  2. I hold-up and refrain from honking the horn, screaming, or waving my fingers at them
  3. I sit-down (figuratively) and tell myself that perhaps they are having a bad day or are in the middle of a difficult life event
  4. While sitting, I ask myself if this life event will matter in one year, month, or even tomorrow. If the answer is no, then I remind myself that it probably does not deserve any extra attention now
  5. So I decide to send blessings and safe driving thoughts their way and hope that whatever distracted them quickly passes

Now in reality, is it possible that they are simply a rude human-being? Of course. However, if that’s the case, why give their selfish action any power over me? And if they simply made a mistake, don’t they deserve my forgiveness? Either way taking the time to hold-up (refrain from acting on emotion), sit-down (consider the initial assumption I hold regarding their behavior may or may not be correct and accept there may be a totally different reason for their behavior), and decide (opt for a rational and loving response to their action) always serves me better than when I fly on emotional auto pilot.

So today what about you? Is it possible that today is the day to go after what you love in life rather than getting distracted by external stimulus? If you would like to share your thoughts or ask questions regarding this topic, please shoot me an email at info@DrMarilyn-EAW.com